Vex King: “Returning home to your heart will create self-acceptance”

Self-love writer and co-founder of The Rising Circle, Vex King, joins Happiful’s podcast to talk about the experiences that shaped him and the impact of practising self-love

Vex King is a Sunday Times bestseller and internationally renowned for his beautiful work on self-love and compassion, and as he shares on Happiful’s podcast, the drive to learn and share supportive words with others is the result of tough childhood experiences that shaped his desire to change his mindset and circumstances.

“I like to call myself the guy that tries to make the world a better place. Ultimately, I’m spreading a message of self-love,” he says introducing himself. “I’ve come from a place where I’ve endured a lot of suffering. To give a bit of background, my Dad died when I was six-months old and my family and I were homeless for roughly three years of my childhood. Then when we finally found a home, unfortunately we weren’t really welcome in that area and neighbourhood for at least two decades. I suffered a lot of poverty, I’d say severe poverty, racism and abuse. There were a lot of times where I suppose I nearly gave up on my life.”

Read the full interview with Vex King in issue 73 of Happiful Magazine

The transition from such trauma to the life Vex leads today might seem like a mighty mountain to have climbed, and he is clear that it was neither linear nor easy. As a younger man, Vex explains, he encountered periods of extreme anger and despair. He also had a strong vision of the life he wanted to lead and an internal drive to alleviate other people’s pain and suffering.

Vex found hope in books, foreshadowing the work he is now so passionate about. “I just wanted a way out. I turned to books and books really helped me. They really built in hope that there was something better out there for me, that I could change my mindset and that I didn’t have to be a victim of my circumstances.”

“I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I did, especially as a child,” he reflects. “At the time it was traumatic and I didn’t realise it. It was painful, it was heartbreaking and it was uncomfortable. But at the same time, I look back on it now and say to myself ‘Would I be here if I hadn’t gone through those particular things, would I have a story to tell? Would I have gone out of my way to find these tools, these ideas, these perspectives that have altered my life and that I’m now sharing with the world so that people can change their own lives?’”

Vex is visibly passionate and clearly dedicated to supporting and championing others. He co-founded The Rising Circle with his beloved wife Kaushal, to share free meditations, manifestation tracks, gratitude sessions and yoga and to ensure that everyone can access this support. He also continues to write, and his most recent book Closer to Love, he shares, brings him great joy.

“The main point of the book is to give you enough clarity and self-awareness so you can make the best decisions for you. And to do that, we have to return home to our own hearts,” Vex says smiling.

“When we return home to our own hearts, we know what’s best for us. We know who we are as people, our identity, our individual personalities, our likes, our dislikes, our values, our dreams, our goals, our needs, our expectations,” he explains. “And only then can we find someone that’s truly compatible for us. Also, when we return home to our heart, we realise that some parts of our heart might be a little bit in the shadows, maybe because there’s been some self-neglect. So we begin to shine light on those areas, and that then makes us better partners when we step into relationships because we are no longer wounded from the things that we have experienced in the past.

“But ultimately, returning home to your heart will create self-acceptance. It will help you accept the parts that you’ve neglected, the parts that society might have told you weren’t nice or beautiful, that weren’t okay. A lot of the time we’ve just been conditioned or we’ve just learned to dislike certain parts of us. But those parts actually make us beautiful. And as cliche as that may sound, we’re only human and we’re all trying our best.”

Find out more about The Rising Circle and Closer to Love.

Vex King lead image by Alecsandra Dragoi